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33 Coddling vs Colliding


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I always thought my early years on the farm were not that unusual and quite normal. At that time, it was not uncommon to not have electricity, running water, or indoor plumbing. I was two years old when we moved to the farm from another rural community, Eureka, where my father had been a stone mason. After WWII, he used the GI Bill to learn how to be a farmer. The farm was in the Chateau Hills in South Dakota, a line of hills deposited by one glacier or another. Today, it is called isolated, but we just called it home. If I walked to the top of the big hill in the west pasture, I could see the top of the water tower in the closest town, Bristol. It was a good place where I could sit and dream my dreams.


When I was about ready to go to elementary school, the Rural Electric Line reached us, and we got electricity…in the barn. It made sense because the barn was the focal point of the farm. It was the place that stored the hay for feeding animals, held the stanchions to steady the cows for milking, had a milk room with the cream separator, and had the radio. My Dad was an amateur baseball player when each town had a team. Evening milking was usually accompanied by whatever baseball game was on the old tube and dial radio. During that time, I caught more lessons than I was taught. It was a journey through the real world with parrels and pitfalls, cuts, bumps, lumps, falls, and opportunities to get up and try again.


An interesting phenomenon has emerged that connects to a change in lifestyle from the one I experienced growing up. In order to protect and shelter our children, we have provided safety and security that has protected them from all sorts of dangers, real and imagined. That understandable desire to safeguard our young has had a secondary, unexpected effect. Overprotecting or coddling children can hinder their ability to cope with life setbacks, failures, and challenges. It may also prevent them from developing self-confidence and independence. Being isolated or confined from life's difficulties can lead to a lack of resilience and an inability to cope with challenges when they arise.


Coddling does not prepare you for life. Being overly protected or sheltered from life's challenges and difficulties does not equip a person with the skills and resilience needed to face the realities of the world. It doesn’t have to be living on a farm with limited resources and facing the daily challenges of farm life. It does have to be allowing children to experience and learn from failure. It will help them develop essential life skills and a sense of self-efficacy.  These experiences will teach the importance of hard work, perseverance, and problem-solving skills, essential for success in any aspect of life. Therefore, it is crucial to strike a balance between protection and exposure to life's challenges to develop the necessary skills and resilience needed to succeed in life.




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patriciachannelmc
Oct 25

Valid points. I also think the pandemic caused kids to be more sheltered and not able to cope with hardships of the world.


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